It’s Okay to Look Like an Idiot
When I was in Grade 4, I was identified as “gifted” by my school board. As a result of that, I started going to a separate gifted program at another school for one day a week from Grades 5 to 8. It was a great program that allowed me to explore many neat things not really provided in the regular school setting, such as creative group projects, puzzles, logic games, independent-study projects, etc.
When school boards administer these tests to identify students as gifted, it affects students emotionally and mentally. The main reason for this is because it creates labels, and subsequently, it creates an imaginary divide between students: “gifted” and “non-gifted”. A lot of people seem to associate the term gifted with intelligent, and so to some students, it’s almost as if you are saying that they are not intelligent because they are in the “non-gifted” group. Conversely, students in the gifted group are often expected to do well in school because people now assume they are “intelligent” – so anything less than academic excellence is a disappointment.
I don’t really want to go into a whole discussion of intelligence because that’s not what I want to focus this article on. What I will say is that I am personally a believer in a form of the Theory of Multiple Intelligences. I believe that everyone has a distinct combination of different types of intelligence, which is why humanity has been able to produce and do so many different and amazing things.
The test that my school board used to identify gifted students largely rested on analyzing only a student’s logical-mathematical and verbal-linguistic intelligences– and not surprisingly, these are the types of skills that help students do well in traditional school subjects. It’s nice that school boards help develop these particular skills for students highly gifted in those areas, but at the same time, it could also be argued that students who excel in other intelligence areas aren’t receiving equal treatment.
Unfair Expectations From Other Students
One of the backlashes of being identified as gifted were other people’s expectations. And no, I don’t mean my parents – their expectations were already ridiculously high (haha I had to say that because my dad reads this blog). More so, and partly for emotional reasons, expectations were higher (and in a way, unfairly founded) from other fellow students.
These labels created a sort of divide between the gifted and non-gifted students. I don’t mean a really significant divide where the groups segregated (though in some areas, gifted students actually do go to a completely different school every day). I always had friends who were not labelled as gifted in my classes. However, there were times when some students felt hurt by the labels – I mean I can definitely understand, especially at that age, that some students might have taken this to mean they “weren’t smart” or something.
As a result, some of these students started pouncing on a gifted student whenever they made a mistake in the classroom. It was as if they were determined to prove that gifted students weren’t as smart as everyone else thought they were. Whenever I (or another gifted student) got something wrong in class, someone would say: “Wow, how could you get that wrong? I thought you were gifted!” Later on in Grade 8, I remember learning from my gifted program teacher that this was a common occurrence in many schools.
I mean, today as older people with more life experience, we realize that no one is completely infallible to mistakes. But when you are a kid, things are a lot different. And some kids who are identified as gifted may start expecting themselves to never make a mistake. That kind of attitude is really unhealthy, and hopefully, kids from both sides of the fence grow out of it. It really is an unfortunate aspect of the process, and now that I think about it, no one ever did anything to educate the class about what the whole gifted thing was.
I Started to Fear Making Mistakes
I don’t like being humiliated or embarrassed, so when I noticed that other students started pouncing whenever I made a mistake, I started to get a bit scared. I didn’t like being teased like that. But to be fair, it was probably partly because I had an ego. I liked having the image that I was “smart” or something, I thought it was pretty cool.
The problem with that mindset and that environment is that it produces a child who is scared to make mistakes – I became such a kid. Subsequently, in class, I would rarely put up my hand unless I was 100% sure of the answer. I even remember a few times when I did put up my hand, but some other student was called first and gave an answer completely different from mine. When I heard the teacher say that student was correct, I would think to myself, “boy, I’m glad the teacher didn’t pick me to answer. It would’ve been so embarrassing if I had gotten that wrong!”
This mentality extended far beyond just answering questions in class. Whenever some event was happening (like say a school show) and the host would ask someone to come up and volunteer for something, I would never, ever volunteer. I didn’t want to mess up. I didn’t want to look stupid in front of everyone else.
There’s Nothing Wrong with Being Wrong
And so for several years in my childhood, I had this unhealthy attitude of keeping a perfect image because I feared being teased – and later that turned into the fear of making mistakes and looking foolish. I never realized that by not trying, I was preventing myself from being in a position to succeed. And by not trying, I am preventing myself from learning from mistakes.
If there’s anything I have learned about myself, it’s that I learn best by taking shots and making my own mistakes. I mean no one gets on a bike and rides perfectly their first time (okay okay I’m sure you did this, I’m so jealous). But really, for most of us, it takes time, effort, and mistakes. A lot of the time I will know something is wrong, but I really can’t internalize it until I make the mistake. By committing the mistake, I have the painful consequences of that mistake so ingrained in memory that I never let it happen again.
To be frank, I still have the fear of making mistakes in public and looking like an idiot. Even though I know I shouldn’t and I finally understand where it stems from, it’s still there. Sometimes when my friends want to try a new activity, I am reluctant about taking part because I don’t want to look like the fool who is out of place and inexperienced. Part of it is also because I am impatient and I hate failing – not a good combination for trying to learn something new from scratch! It’s something I still struggle with, but am hoping I will continue to overcome.
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Comments
Aww, this reminds me of when I took the gifted program assessment in Grade four as well. I wanted more than anything to be identified as gifted, and was totally heartbroken when my childhood “rivals” were granted that title and I was not. I think that my jealousy was one of the reasons that our friendship failed. *sigh*
Great post, as usual. If there’s one thing I definitely need to get over, it’s the fear of failure. 
Wow, “x” marks the spot. Great article!
I convinced my parents and teacher to net let me go into gifted in grade 4 so i wouldn’t have that label, but in grade 7 they forced me in… at first I really hated it, but it became a sort of motivation for me to work harder… still interesting experience.
A little bit of both. I didn’t find the program to be challenging, hands-on or unique. I found the teachers sorted of just expected more, and they didn’t expect any questions!! Fellow peers in the program sort of looked down on you if a person did, very stupid I’d say! Also, many kids were snobby that they were in it, and actually thought they were better than the rest, and that really annoyed me. I had a mix of friends, from the gifted program and even more from outside the program, and they thought of me differently at first, but fortunately soon realized that the program didn’t really change the “real” me – it was just supposed to be more of an academic challenge with peers of similar interest or “academic level”.
I really liked your thought that the all the different MIs are not integrated into specific program, only the “traditional” smarts. Its not fair to some students who really excel in other areas.
Great article Joshua! I have been in the program since grade 5. In my experience, I saw a lot of segregation. Being in Mode 3, where all your core classes are enhanced, you are put in a class with all enhanced kids. I saw many kids lose their social lives, as other “non-gifted” kids did not want to hang out with them. I think the program broke the ties by taking kids outside of normal social circles and putting them in new ones. Circles that they may not be comfortable being in. My only way to still keep my old friends was to play school sports and get involved in clubs. It turned out for the better, but I think a lot of kids did not benefit too much from the program.
As for the expectations part, I definitely agree. You are called stupid and an idiot by both gifted and non-gifted kids when you get something wrong. It definitely puts people down. I tend to ask a lot of questions and have gotten bashed for it. Now, I am in my last year (gr. 12) and I am mixing it up. I am taking both enhanced and academic core classes. (My school has both streams) The enhanced co-coordinators are deathly against this approach. They suggest that my marks will drop, because “I am not in my diagnosed learning environment.” I think that’s bullshit, but I guess we will find out. So far, I’ve seen my marks go up by 5-7% but you never know.
However, I am somewhat thankful to the program. It has made me the unique person I am today. It forced me to get involved to not suffer the social stigma of being enhanced and pushed me to do better academically as well. (I am a very competitive person)
Well, in Mode 3, the only difference is that you are surrounded by people that want to succeed. The result is that kids finish their work faster and we have more time to enrich ourselves by discussing things and going into depth on certain topics. We write the same exam though. Sometimes its a good thing, other times it really isn’t.
I did fine in both classes, but in things like Math, I felt that I could do better in an academic class because the pace is slower.
Mode 2, which you were in, sounds really nice. I’m glad you had a good time. A bunch of the kids who have done both modes prefer Mode 2 over Mode 3. I haven’t had the chance so I don’t know why exactly. But it seems that Mode 2 is more fun.
MedHopeful @ Premed101
wow,
my sentiments exactly. well-said, bravo.