How to Write a Winning Scholarship Essay – Part 3: Writing the Essay

At this point, you should know what you are going to write. That is, you should have completed the outline for your essay which includes all the information and ideas you want to get across to the scholarship judges: what you have achieved, the lessons you’ve learned, how you got started, etc.

In this article, I am going to walk you through some important concepts on how to put these ideas into the form of an essay in the best way possible. One thing I am NOT going to do is write the essay for you. If you came here expecting to see complete sample essays, then you’re in the wrong place. What I’m trying to do is teach you how to write your essay, and hopefully by the end of the article, you’ll realize why understanding these concepts is much more valuable than me simply giving you a template essay to use.

Don’t Write an Essay. Write Your Story.

Although we always use terms like “scholarship essays” or “essay answers”, realize that you’re not writing a formal essay for your history class. Think of your scholarship essay of more like a story. Your story.

Imagine you were writing a novel about yourself and your leadership/community experiences: what would you say? How would you say it?

There are a few reasons why you should write your scholarship essay as if you are telling a story, but the primary reason is because it helps you stand out. Scholarship judges must go through hundreds or thousands of application essays. Formal essays are not exciting by nature – but stories are. You want your scholarship judge, in the heap of a hundred boring formal essay answers, to be excited by something interesting for once: your story.

Think of your essay like a movie or a novel, where you are the hero in the story: a hero with a mission. Through your story, you want to convince the reader (the scholarship judge) to be on your side. It’s kind of like sports. Have you ever watched your favourite team compete in a championship game? How did you feel? What emotions went through you as you cheered for your team? That’s the feeling you want the judges to have about you.

By the end of the essay, you want the judge to be cheering for you, to want you to succeed. You want the judge to put down your application and think: “Wow, I need to meet this person!”

Write in the First Person

Writing in the first person for any application essay is an absolute must. This essay is about YOU. Use “I”, “me”, “myself”, etc. Do not write in the third person, because it is not as convincing and quite frankly, it doesn’t make much sense to be writing in the third person about yourself.

Transformation: The Before and After

As I have mentioned many times now, what you have achieved is just as important to the scholarship judges as what you have learned and how your experience has helped you develop as a person. That is, you want to tell a transformational story.

For example, before I got involved in some of my leadership experiences, I had low self esteem and had trouble getting to know people. I still have some of those issues from time to time (who doesn’t?), but there is no doubt that my leadership experiences helped me extend my comfort zone and take part in things that have helped me develop socially. I used to stutter sometimes when I spoke, but now I love to speak in front of hundreds. I mentioned all of this in all of my scholarship applications.

I fervently believe that sharing my before and after story played a significant role in my scholarship success.

Describe Your Moment of Inspiration Vividly

If there’s one thing you’re going to describe more in a story like manner than anything else in your essay, it’s your introduction: your story of what inspired you and how you got involved in the activity. This is what pulls the reader into your essay and makes them want to read the whole thing.

One of the best ways to do this is recall how you felt when you were inspired. What did that feel like? What thoughts were racing through your head? What did you do immediately after?

Compare and contrast the following two descriptions of the same inspirational moment:

“It all began one day at school when we watched a documentary on homelessness in the city. I was shocked by what I saw, and the documentary inspired me to start a youth group in my high school to investigate better ways of tackling homelessness.”

OR

“I will never forget that day in civics class where my outlook on the world would change dramatically. As images of impoverished families and children flashed before my very eyes through a documentary on homelessness, I couldn’t help but feel saddened and upset. That experience moved me deeply and feelings of helplessness soon turned into a fiery passion to make a difference. I gathered a few of my friends who were also inspired, and we soon embarked on a journey to tackle homelessness.”

I don’t know about you, but I think the vivid images and feelings shared in the second description make it much more interesting and engaging than the first.

Write in an Active, Dynamic Manner

Remember, you want the judge to imagine your story as if it was unfolding before him or her. If you have the opportunity to choose more dynamic phrases or words, do so. “I charged into the room and a heated debate ensued” is much more active and dynamic than “I had a difficult meeting with the other person”.

Yes the facts are important, but never forget the cardinal rule of student applications: how you market yourself is just as important as the idea you’re trying to market!

Now Write!

You now have all the tools to write your essay, or rather, your story. Make it vivid, dynamic, and active. Share how you felt when you were inspired. Elaborate on how your experiences changed your life.

Once you have your first draft complete, you’re ready for the revision process.

Part 4: Revising the Essay >>

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Read the other parts of the How to Write a Winning Scholarship Essay series here:

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Comments

Josh – I am a grade 12 student and currently in the process of applying for some of the major entrance awards – I have been following your posts in Student Awards and your Blog – I found your tips for applying for scholarships and writing essays very very useful – I have finished writing most of the essays – wonder if I could get you to critique my major essay – variants of which I am inputting into all the forms

Hi Neha,

I am quite busy at the moment, but I’d be happy to take a quick glance.

Feel free to send something to medhopeful@gmail.com

The hardest part of writing the essay for me is making it sound like a story while still getting all of the important points in. The second hardest part is keeping it under the max words. I’m currently 400 words over on my Queen’s essay and it seems impossible to edit!

hi joshua!

I love your blog and all your tips. I have been closely following this page because I currently in the process of writing my TD scholarship essay. I was way over the word limit, but i managed to cut it down a bit. I was wondering if the essay needed a title. I would have requested that you take a look at my essay, but i believe that you are quite busy with med school. So i wish you best of luck.

do let me know if a title is needed though.
thanks for all your help!
shivu

Hi Shivu,

I guess this a bit too late, sorry about that. But no, your essay doesn’t need a title, so whether you did or didn’t include one doesn’t really matter.

Best of luck!

This site is an absolute godsend. I feel like I’ll be coming back for more info and source.Keep up the good work. Thanks so much for the information…It looks awesome….

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