Open vs. Anonymous?

One of the things I thought about when I started this blog was whether I should be open about who I am, or whether I should be anonymous. Of course there are pros and cons to being open about my identity. The pros of being open is that people who know me will find it interesting, I get credit for any ideas I write about, etc.

But some cons are that it will influence the way people view me without having met me or immediately before meeting me. For example, during my orientation week, I met two people who told me they saw my blog. Immediately I start thinking, “oh crap, what does this mean? Do I come off as an okay dude when I write, or do I sound arrogant and like a jerk?” I honestly feel like my writing is only a small extension of who I am, and that the way I come off when I write is not all that close to how I am in person. I think I write in a pretty blunt, purposeful manner, but I don’t really conduct myself that way in real life.

Another con is that having an open identity forces me to be careful about what I write. I am hesitant to write negatively about anything or anyone because I know words and ideas can be misconstrued and really bite you back hard. Some of you will be upset about that, because I know I try to come off as honest as possible – but I’m sure you also understand I have to be cognizant about who might end up reading this and what the ramifications could be. On the other hand, if I were anonymous, I’d probably be a lot more open about any less than happy thoughts or criticisms.

Once I got into medical school was when I actually started worrying a bit about this blog. Would it alienate some classmates who saw it?

Friends

As it turns out, nothing bad has happened yet, fortunately. In fact, a few of the friends I’ve made found out about it. One in particular has kept prodding me to mention her on this blog as an example of a really awesome friend I’ve made thus far. I’m not sure if she’s being serious or sarcastic, because she tries to be sarcastic like 90% of the time, but I guess be careful what you ask for…

Well I guess I’ll say I really enjoy my conversations with this friend. She’s very open-minded, which is a good thing, because I think people sometimes jump to conclusions with a lot of preconceived notions, but she’s willing to take a step back and look at things objectively. Which for me is good because I take maybe a radical or unconventional standpoint on something and I know she won’t instantly judge me because of it.

She’s also pretty sarcastic and not all that sensitive, which I like. I think I’ve mentioned several times here that I don’t like taking life to seriously, so it’s nice to have a friend who you can poke fun at or make a sort of “inappropriate” remark in a joking manner and not be looked at like an insensitive jerk.

I’m not sure, but I also get the feeling she understands people well. Like she is good at recognizing why people are doing what they do, what their motivations are. I could be completely way off base though with this one, it’s just a feeling I get. At the very least I think she’s interested in it.

It’s also kind of funny that we share some of the same interests when it comes to medicine. On of my UofT medical school essay, I ended with “Nothing would make me happier than being a pediatric neurologist…”. One our bus ride to some event during orientation week, I was talking to another friend about how I read that there was just one pediatric neurology residency position at UofT every year but no one made it their first choice last year. She turns around all excited when she heard this, and say, “don’t tell anyone else!” or something to that effect. Turns out she is interested in neurology, studied neuroscience in undergrad, and likes kids too. Unfortunately she doesn’t realize that single residency spot will go to me ;). (Actually, while I really do see myself doing something in pediatrics, I’m not so sure if neurology is for me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up somewhere completely different).

It’s also weird how small the world is. When I found out which high school she went to, I immediately asked her if she ever went to the science fair (her school is notorious for doing well at it). And sure enough, she went to the Canada-Wide Science Fair the year before I did. I take that to mean she’s a tiny bit geekier with science than I am.

Of course, we are not completely similar. I would say the biggest difference is that she seems to have a really good work ethic while mine is terrible. I think she has reviewed a fair bit of the material already, while I’m still on Page 5 of last week’s notes. Uh oh. I think I should still get some major props for actually doing some studying the first week of school. I have never done that in my life, so this has got to be a pretty good sign.

Anyways I promised to write this, so here you go! On a related note, I actually really like the friends I’ve made so far, and I hope the trend continues with each new person I meet in my class. Although I realize I won’t click with everyone in my program, I feel pretty lucky to have met quite a few friends that I’ve clicked well with so far.

It’s crazy how many friendships are due to chance though. I met the friend I wrote about today because I had two hours to blow in the afternoon on the first day of orientation week. I saw a few people talking, and I said what the heck, I’ll go say hi and introduce myself. Lo and behold, I now sit with these same people in class everyday so far.

Reminds me of how I met one of my best friends at York. It was my second day of calculus, and I sat next to this dude. I noticed he was listening to some music. I asked him if he liked Death Cab for Cutie (because I did at the time) – he told me he thought their lead singer was terrible (though he denies saying this, I really do remember this). In any case, somehow we became really good friends. Funny how these things happen.

What’s next?

Tomorrow I’m going to head for lunch to catch up with some friends before they start school again, and then I really need to buckle down and study so that I don’t look like a complete moron in front of my lab group on Tuesday.

Hope everyone had a good long weekend! 🙂